Chapter 35 - Reflection and a Year for Self!

Today is November 3rd, 2022 and it is my 35th Birthday!!!

Today marks the start of a new year!! So much to learn and continue to grow from. I have been doing these yearly reflections for many years, and they have become my favorite posts on my blog to share. The reflection is for me, but I also hope that all who may happen to come across my many reflective posts that it may help in some way as well.

Photo by Gift Habeshaw on Unsplash

To start off… I am not going to lie to yall, 34 was a hard year!!! As yall know the past few years have been a bit wacky, and I personally have felt like I have so many things that I had to start over completely. It has been super overwhelming and it hasn’t been something that I have been explain to many people.

Before the pandemic I had a full time job, was still booking quite a few modeling jobs and content creator gigs… and I felt like I was going in an upward direction and had so many amazing things happening. Then literally everything came to a close, and it felt like my whole life just crumbled in front of my face. Then as things started to open up again… I did start to book little things here and there, but it honestly just has not been the same. I was working for myself for a bit and was actually very successful. I made the most money I had ever made in my life, but then projects closed and I had to pivot once again (story of my life).

I now have a regular job again, and I am still creating content as well. I have been recently taking a step back from Instagram, and have been focusing more on Pinterest and my blog. I am also adding more to YouTube shorts at the moment as well. Being a content creator is all about shifting and finding where you get the most traction from. I am continuing to find what works and staying consistent. Modeling has been super up and down. I am changing directions all the time. I am still open to modeling, but (again) I am doing what makes sense for me. I do feel like things are starting to be a little bit “normal” again, but like I said before it is just not the same. Honestly I know that things are always changing and I have to just continue to push regardless of how hard it is. I can do hard things!! I’ve got this!!

I have definitely turned more inward this year, working on what truly feeds my soul, and makes me feel good. I have become the biggest fan of silent moments, time alone and not really speaking much to people if I really don’t have much to say. I know I have said this before, but I do so much for others and have for so long not done enough for me, and after the past couple of years dealing with different people in the industry… I said enough is enough!! Everything needs to change and I need to work on myself. So this is where we are at now. I don’t care if I disappoint anyone… I have to do what’s best for me!! So, moving in to year 35 the self work will continue. Self work is hard, it’s uncomfortable, it can be lonely… but it is so necessary. Having a deep awareness of self, definitely opens your eyes to a different perspective of the world.

I have always been a very confident person, but there are areas where I struggle and doubt myself, because of outside voices and lack of true support in different areas in my life. I am working on blocking out the outside voices and continue to go after what I am truly passionate about. I have had to learn and embrace that people truly will come in to your life for a reason and season. Also, some people may come in to your life to just be around for no reason at all… They just be out here troll’n and try to get in the way of progress. Move accordingly!! That has been loud and clear in my life recently. The cutting off and self isolation has been so real!

I see so much growth coming in my new year of life, well I mean I always aim to grow… but I feel like in this stage of my life I am opening myself up to a new kind of growth that I am embracing and will most likely be very strange to many people around me. Guess what, that is totally ok. I feel like we all grow in different ways at different times and that is fine. Allow yourself to embrace new things to come in to your life and learn to be open.

Cheers to growth, Good Vibes and 35!!!